I just wanted to write and say how much I loved your second book. It is so raw and honest. Thank you for putting your story out there. You have no idea how much your honesty has helped me with my journey to freedom so far. I really cannot thank you enough!!
I have book marked so many pages, that mean something to me or that I relate to, etc. It is like my little bible 
. I have been going to it when I need some inspiration or some guidance or just to know that I am not the only one out there that has struggled, that it is possible!
Your book is a true encounter of what goes on in most women’s heads on a daily basis. I related to so many things you wrote. Thank God there is someone like you that has the talent, ambition, inspiration and love to put it out there for us all.
Jess K
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A very special person summarised what she got out of my book, FAT is not who she is, for herself.
I need to clearly visualise in my own mind what I want and then take action to make it a reality.
I create my own future through the action I take.
If I focus on my family, my friends, the needs of others, my work and doing the best I can, happiness will find me.
People will never forget how I made them feel.
Everyday is a new opportunity to live the life I want.
I need to remain focussed on the present moment as thinking about the future causes me way too much anxiety and thinking about the past brings up so much regret.
I need to let my thoughts go and focus on becoming engaged in the physical world.
I’m only delaying the inevitable if I don’t work through my issues.
When I eat healthy, nutritious food and eat until I’m satisfied and stop when I’m full, my body will settle at its natural set point weight.
Choosing what I feel like eating will give me confidence.
When I am able to quieten my thoughts and my body is still and relaxed (through meditation), I will be able to listen to my body and mind to get the information and answers it needs.
Am I going to choose life or unhappiness?
I need to break my ‘rules’ and take some risks. It will be scary but also exhilarating.
I refuse to look back on my life with regret.
I need to set a good example for my children and demonstrate to them how to live a healthy, balanced lifestyle.
Positive thinking will affect how I feel.
The way I think affects how I feel which influences my behaviour e.g If I think positive thoughts about my body (curvaceous, womanly, warm, healthy), I will feel accepting of my body and will therefore treat my body with love and respect.
When I choose different beliefs (e.g my body doesn’t need to be thin to be acceptable), for a while the physical world will continue to reflect my old beliefs. I will be strong and stand by my new beliefs.
Intuitive eating is like learning a new langauge; frustrating and challenging but also immensely rewarding and exhilarating.
When I live in my head, I live with turmoil, confusion, fear and anxiety. When I listen to my heart, I feel happy, positive, calm, balanced and at peace.
Whatever I’ve learnt I can unlearn.
If I enjoy every single bite of what I eat, I will feel satisfied and won’t need to eat to excess.
I need to create a new belief system.
I am whoever I say I am.
I can be whoever I want to be. I can behave however I want to behave.
God’s gift to me is spontaneous and effortless eating and natural weight control. I don’t need to regulate this natural process.
When I connect with my spirit, I will experience true and lasting peace.
I follow my heart and allow my brain to catch up.
…at times I feel certain I am right while not knowing the reason. (Albert Einstein)
Anxiety is not dangerous, it’s just uncomfortable.
I am going to be the person that I visualise myself to be.
I will listen to my heart and not my head. My head may scream at me, but my heart will always be kind, gentle and loving. My heart will show me the way.
I will focus on being the best possible version of myself and allow my body to just be.
I feel beautiful in my body and comfortable in my own skin because I am living a true, authentic life.
I must be willing to feel uncomfortable for a little while when I try my ‘fear foods’. At the end of my comfort zone, the fear will be gone forever.
My belief system tells me that I have to control my weight. I need to have a belief overhaul.
I am a beautiful, radiant soul covered in flesh.
Love for myself and others makes me feel abundantly happy.
I perceive thinness to be something of value. I need to change this perception as this is a lie. Real value lies in the character of a person and how they make others feel.
My self-worth comes from being my true, authentic self.
My physical body is temporary, but my soul is eternal.
The path towards intuitive eating is to legalise all foods, let go of the false control, accept any weight gain, connect with my soul, deal with emotional issues from my past and trust that the process will bring me true freedom.
Success is a happy life and a happy life is a string of happy moments.
I have to experience the bad times in order to appreciate the good times.
My goals are to exercise moderately most days of the week. Connect with God through prayer and reading the Bible. Practice daily meditation to still my thoughts and connect with the present moment. Eat mainly healthy, nutritious. Enjoy ‘play’ foods in moderation. This is all I can do. What will be will be.
I refuse to allow my body to hold me back anymore.
I am no longer putting my life on hold. I am living life to its fullest potential. My behaviours are changing and my thoughts and feelings will just have to catch up. I am on a one way train to freedom.
If my primary goal is to be free and happy, I need to do everything that I possibly can to make it happen. That means letting go of the need to control my weight.
The more baby steps I take, the more confident I’ll get.
I need to stop thinking so much about what I should eat, I need to just go with what my body is telling me that it feels like.
Get out of my head and into my heart.
If I do gain weight, what would this really mean?
I eat the foods which satisfy me and make me feel good.
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I honestly couldn’t put the book down once I started!
‘Fat is not who she is’ is a candidly honest book that has you riding all the highs and lows that Shelley experienced. I swear I was there with Shelley for every mouthful, every run, every weights session, every breakdown and for every break through! I have battled the exact same diet/weight demons over the past 4 years and thought I was alone in my thinking. This book was exactly what I needed to read! Such a strong reminder of what is really important life.
Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us all Shelley xx
Krystle Henry
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“I’m powering through the book already and felt really compelled to send you a message. The book is such an awesome real read and I just wanted to say a HUGE thank you!! Every word you have wrote I can totally relate to and identify with…You can’t imagine just how much!!”
Krystle Henry
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http://www.shelleystark.com/smiling/
Smiley
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I forgot to email and say THANK YOU so much for your book – it arrived last week and I LOVE IT! Wow, what an intense, real and amazing read so far!
I can’t wait to get home to carry on reading! You are so very brave.
Will email again when I have further read/finished.
I am so very grateful that we crossed paths and you came into my life – you are simply an amazing person (I did, however, already know this before your book).
Kelly Pridham, New Zealand
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I couldn’t put it down on the weekend! I find it a very honest account of your struggles. I must admit there is some tough stuff in there re history wise. Also everything we Mum’s read about a daughter’s perspective of early life is hard. We feel responsible for your early struggles. I must admit I felt really sad. There have been tears and many laughs too! The swearing…..pfft! It is honest!!!
For people with disorders it is an excellent account of why lifestyle outweighs diets. I am thinking of incorporating it in my work with families, if you don’t mind. With all the diet books out there, there is now someone’s story about them all. Something that I hadn’t realised until reading yours. Not that I have read many!
Anyway I love it and am VERY proud of you.
Terri O’Keefe
